Cockroaches, magnets and flatulance OH MY!

Yesterday was just a really weird day. The three of us - Jonathan, Jenn and myself all got up early to head to Pune Central Shopping Mall. It is actually quite a nice mall with everything you would see in Canada or the USA. The only problem is that all the prices are the same as North America so it is pointless to buy anything. Since we woke up early to go shopping before our shift at work we had to sacrifice a bunch of sleep. This led to some pretty interesting, and hilarious, events last night.

It started out with me telling my story about my pet cockroaches. Two nights ago I came home to find a cockroach just inside my door lying on his back twitching his legs. He wasn't huge but I was still a bit grossed out that I had a cockroach there. So I grabbed some TP and flushed the little bugger down the toilet. The next night I come home and there is another cockroach in the EXACT SAME SPOT! Now I'm starting to wonder if I pissed off the cleaning staff and they are leaving me little critters.

Staff: "Hey I got an idea. Let's freak out the white dude! We'll keep putting cockroaches in his suite and wait till he freaks out."

As it turns out these little buggers come out of the vents and fall to the ground. How do I know this? Well one happened to visit Jenn last night in her suite and it fell to the ground when she was still awake. She, however, had the staff come deal with it rather than brave the toilet paper and flush approach I used.

Now the next part of the story is about flatulance. And no everyone, it isn't about me for once! Jonathan needed a smoke break so we decided to go out to the balcony so he could get his nic fix. I guess Jon was feeling a little, uhm, gassy because he let one rip that would startle you if you weren't ready for it. And I'm pretty sure the young Indian girl who was sitting down just around the corner out of sight was NOT READY FOR IT! Because she was sitting there talking on her cell phone and looked absolutely mortified that Jon had just done his best impression of a sonic boom. Once Jon and I realized we were not alone we lost it. We were so tired that this seemed like the funniest thing on the planet. I can't image what this girl thinks of Canadian men. We fart really loud in public then laugh our asses off because we did it. I'm still laughing as I write this.

To cap off our evening of humor and fun we introduce the subject of magnets. Many of you are probably familiar with security doors that use an electromagnet to keep them shut. At work they have the same system. Only none of us get a badge to open the door. We have to stand at the window waving to get let in. To leave there is a little button you press to turn off the electromagnet. Jon and I had figured this out, but I guess Jenn missed that part of the orientation. As we were leaving that night I pressed the button and walked out the door and Jenn asked "Why did you press that button?" I told her why I had pressed it and she responds with "Ohhhhhhhhhhh. That is why my shoulder is so sore!" I guess Jenn had been doing her best impression of a Canadian lumberjack by forcing her way into the secured area by throwing her shoulder into the door for 2 weeks. All these Indian guys must be scared shittless of her by now for fear she could rip them in two.

As you can imagine in a sleep deprived state we laughed our asses off about these events for a good 30 minutes. Since we couldn't stop laughing at the same time one persons laughing would start up anothers. I count this as an exercise for my abs!

That is all for now. Cheers folks

More cup stories

I'm not sure what is going on here and cups but this is getting strange. There is a coffee dispenser at work where you can get coffee, hot tea, and some other flavoured beverage all out of one unit. I was crashing hard last night around 12 am so I decided to brave the brew. With my experience the other day and cups I was a little worried to ask for one. Since I was in such a bad state I figured what the hell, lets go for it.

So I ask my engineer where cups are for coffee. He then tells me their cups are in their lockers. I reinforce the fact that I WANT A COFFEE. He understands what I mean and has a bit of a worried look on his face. This is when I start thinking "Oh god here we go again". He says "If you want a cup you have to get it from downstairs. Fill in a requisition form and see if they will 'check you out a cup'". Everything in this place needs a freakin' code or requisition form. If they need a pen - fill in a form. If they need a notepad - fill in a form. If you need a freakin' cup - fill in a form. Even my dinner requires some code which they don't give me.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining. But all of this is really a hilarious experience. Now I know "there is a cup" you just have to fill out requisition form 9-Alpha and complete paragraph 3, 7, 12 plus 14 subsection 3.

"There is no cup"

I ran into an interesting thing the other day. As you can imagine I drink a lot of water over here not only because of the heat but because of the air conditioning. All the blowing air really dehydrates me. I'm a pretty self sufficient guy and prefer to get my own water and food rather than having it all done for me. So I asked one of the engineers where I can get some water. He showed me to their water filtration system that they use and it is pretty much like an advanced water cooler. I think "Great. I can just get water where when I want." But I look around and I don't see any cups that I can use. So I ask "Where are your cups?" That is when another engineer walks up and picks up the ONLY CUP AROUND, which sits on top of this unit and proceeds to fill up the cup with water. He then drinks from this cup and puts it back! See the thing is here they all share ONE cup but they have an interesting way to drink. They never let the cup touch their lips. So I'm thinking about germs and splashback right now (you all know me and my paranoia about such things). I don't want to insult anyone so I give 'er a whirl. I'm thinking this water is gonna end up all over my face and shirt because I don't regular pour water into my mouth from a cup 2 inches away. Luckily I manage to make it through this experience with only a little extra water on my chin.

So now I realize that in India, "there is no cup".

Horn OK Please

Well; Jonathan and I made it to India safe and sounds. The plane rides were long but it was not as tiring as I expected it to be. I didn't get to sleep much on the flight to Heathrow but I did sleep about 4 hrs on the flight to Mumbai (Bombay).

You are probably wondering what "Horn OK Please" means. The horn is primarily used to say "I'm passing you whether you like it or not." It is also used to say "Get out of the way you stupid moped". And also to say "Hey pedestrian. You better not cross or you'll end up as my hood ornimant." I have some video and a few pictures to share about the traffic. Many of the trucks have "Horn OK Please" painted on the back which basically means "Honk if you are going to pass me, because I'm not really paying attention to what I'm doing".

Here in India there are not many traffic rules. And by not many I mean none. Merging and lane changing are determined first by how large your vehicle is. Truck trumps car, car trumps moto-rickshaw, tuk tuk trumps moped, and moped trumps pedestrian. There are no lines on the road in the city. And the lines on the highways are merely a suggestion.


On Saturday we got into Pune around 3 pm and met up with Jen. She was pretty happy to see some familiar faces. After a little "Hello, how you doin'" Jonathan and I decided we both needed to take a rest and all meet up for dinner around 6:30 or 7:00 pm. Many of you know the way I sleep - like the dead. It is even worse when I am wearing my earplugs. I guess I slept in a little because I woke up at 9 pm! Jen and Jonathan had been trying to call me for a while but I didn't hear the thing. God bless those earplugs. It turns out they went for dinner late and I still met them at about 9:20 pm at this rooftop restraunt which was fantastic. That was about it for our Saturday because we decided to call it a night and get some more sleep.

Sunday was an amazing day! I did more this day than I had in a month in Vancouver. To start out our day we met up with Yoghita (sp?) who is an Engineer who works for us in India. She took us to the Katrai snake park! Not only were there snakes but we also got to see some turtles, crocodiles, Indian deer, blue bulls, a white tiger, and a leopard. It was pretty amazing.

After that we came back to the hotel where Jonathan and I decided to see how cold the beer was. It took a few bottles but we decided it was cold and refreshing :) Oh yeah. It is mango season here and they are fabulous. Eat them is like a party in your mouth!

We also got to check out this palace in the middle of the city called Shaniwar Wada. It was built sometime in the 18th century but all the buildings inside were burned down :( The stone structure still exists and you can walk all around the 30 ft walls and get quite a view.

In the evening we went to a place called Aga Khan Palace. This is the resting place of Ghandi! We were rushed on this tour because it was closing in 10 minutes but we did get to see some very amazing history and even the grave marker where Ghandi's cremated remains lie. While we were there we were spotted by a bunch of cricket players. Because we were white foreigners they all wanted their photo taken with us. It was really quite hilarious. I really have to get used to being stared at here. Especially by the children.

After seeing Ghandi we decided to check out M.G. road which is closed off to vehicles on Sat and Sun from 6-10 pm. It is this huge open market of everything you can imagine. All the merchants are really good at pedling their wares ;) Luckily I just looked and did not buy. Next time I'll likely pick up a few trinkets and presents.

We wrapped up the day at an amazing restaraunt called Koyia. All the servers were in traditional India dress and the whole place was covered in little mirrors. Photos did not turn out well because it was dimmly lit, you'll just have to trust me that the decor and food was amazing.


That is all for now. This entry is getting really large so I'll leave more for next time.

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